Acceptance

I am sitting here pondering the entire notion of acceptance. What does acceptance mean? There are many directions I could go with this concept, however I am thinking of it in terms of acceptance of life -Of life’s daily moments, the “small, maybe not so small ups and down” of life. Maybe the reason for these ponderings is that yesterday after the completion of leading a workshop in upstate NY, I was feeling quite elated. I was tired from the amount of energy it all required but I was feeling, grounded and at peace with life. And then it all shifted sometime during my returning home. It seems easy to accept our life when it goes the way we want it to. When the sun is shining, when we feel healthy, have good friends to laugh and play with, etc. there is generally no problem smiling, accepting our lot in life. However when the positive, grounded place changes, when the mood changes to a darker more discouraged place, how do we deal with and accept these ever shifting feelings in healthy ways. Because they will change, it is the nature of life, everything changes all the time. Continually in life one breath ceases and is replaced by a new breath, an entirely new experience. When we meditate and focus on the breath as a way to stay centered in our body our awareness of life’s subtle changes is enhanced. The fact that one minute we are seeing and feeling wonderful about life and the next we feel down, discouraged and may not even know why, can feel overwhelming at times. Who knows why? Maybe it was something in the exchange with a friend, maybe an article we read, maybe some music created a mood. – a hundred or more possibilities. Trying to figure it out with the mind can be exhausting and can often dig a deeper hole. In my experience, often because I don’t like the feelings and want them to go away I make a conscious effort to shift what I am doing, maybe I will take a walk, cook something, write in my journal, do something to move away from this uncomfortable place. It may bring me back towards center and it may not. So much depends upon my attitude of accepting what is actually happening. It won’t shift if I continue with feelings of resistance even in my new activity. The saying “what we resist persist” is worth my remembering . My doing something might include calling a friend. My friend will probably listen, may give me a pep talk to help me see the “way out” or the positive spin on what is happening. And somehow their good intentions might pull me away from the situation, the feelings. But what I am leaning more and more each day is only I can change what is happening in my life. Can I remember that I am not a bad person, deficient, stupid, unkind, whatever may be crossing my brain. The first step is accepting this place as a temporary place, like a rainy day which even in Vermont will not go on forever. My acceptance and seeing the grace of the raindrops opens up a shift towards center, towards groundednes in my day, in my life. And so acceptance of what is given to me is always up to me and in the buhhist way of thinking pain in life is inevitable but suffering is optional. I have the choice to accept and remember that life is a gift in all its forms and shapes… And so with the responsibility on me I am learning how to accept what shows up in my life. I feel it is important not to fight , or try to control what unfolds in my life. Not to wish it away, to distract myself, to busy myself with the hope that it will just disappear all on its own. What works for me is to honor it, get curious about it, accept it as just another part of my landscape. Sitting with what is in my meditation practice can also help. Can I just watch my mind, be a witness. Can I just be curious about my mind, my feelings, and remember that I am more than my mind, more than my emotions. There is a center, a rock, a solid place that is not easily swayed by my moods of the day. When I tap into that deep center, it brings me back to a place of acceptance of all I may be dealing with. It may very well put a smile back on my face., or not…………….No expectations, just acceptance is my motto for the day!

Searching

I have spent much of my life searching, wanting to find answers to some of life's biggest questions, like which is more influential on the development of humans, our genes or our enviroment? Where do we go after we die? Is there really life after death and if so what is that like?? Why do bad things happen to good people? etc. Of course at this tender age of my early sixties I don't have any real answers. But this questing, this searching is clearly an aspect of who I am......... After having assisted this past weekend at Kripalu in a very intensive workshop, "The Inner Quest Intensive" this is what I know on the" Monday after" about some of life's bigest questions having to do with "us humans" --- Under the different outer armour we adorn, the clothers we select daily , the frowns the wrinkles, the acne, the quick wit, the mulitple roles we take on such as the dreamer, the achiever, the critic, etc. there is a simple person with simple needs who desires only to be listened to, accepted understood and loved. And while this is probably not that profound or new to the reader there is nothing like spending time with others as they bond, develop a sense of trust, tell their stories, go deeper into the virgin territory and inner landscapes of their souls to have this reality take shape. It is a privlege and honor to witness the joys and pains that life brings us and to see that it is in the sharing of these experiences and the allowing of authentic feelings to emerge that a sense of freedom and spaciousness occurs. Self observation without judgement is a corner stone of this work I was priviledged to be a witness to such an experience this past weekend and it touched my soul in ways that words cannot express. I feel deep gratitude for the experience and know that my life has been enriched by this process.